Alright Picking Up Where I am

Good Evening Blogosphere,

I found my recent journal and realized I haven't written anything in over a year in my journal, it also made me realize that I haven't written in my blog in about that same amount of time.

I figured this specific blog might help people as we face this every growing holiday season.

Christmas is a fickle time of year for me, especially this year. Zaq and I have usually struggled with money throughout the year to make sure ends meet and bills get paid on time. But this year seems really tight. My fondest memory of Christmas is hosting a family gathering for Zaq's family. We had stockings for every person and I filled them to the rim with stuff. Everyone had a really great time. It was such a nice thing to do for everyone and I loved every minute of decorating that year. This year it's just our small family of 5 and my brother in law Hyrum. But it's still going to be a great Christmas because I'm the only one that can keep a secret from the kids and boys of the house.

Our Ward has had a great vision for our Christmas party this coming Saturday. Instead of a ham that is going to feed everyone our Bishop has inspired us to participate in seven different charities first is a giving tree, then a Homeless Care Bag, Breast Cancer Pillows, Cards, Fleece Blanket Tying, and some comfort packs. I'm truly grateful to be part of this and to do all that I can to make sure that this Christmas party is a blast.

In prior wards I've hidden my abilities and talents, but in this ward my flame is shining brightly my reference to a light is found in Matthew 5:14-16 "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put is under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." This year I get to draw the elves workshop and I'm super excited about drawing and letting everyone use my art as a backdrop for this family photos.

But with great happiness comes great sadness as well. Recently my aunt posted on her facebook "Nothing like the smell of cigarettes on the way home from work" I didn't know whether this was a positive post or a negative post. To me was just a facebook opinion. Everyone is entitled to them and facebook is just a right place for them I feel. So in the mood of sharing I shared the statement "Personally I love the smell of Marlboro reds because that's what Jim's dad used to smoke" I thought it was something harmless and something that I could sympathize with. I understand walking past someone smoking and wants to inhale their second hand smoke because it reminds you of better times. I know for me it does. I love the smell of those cigarettes. I wish I could sit with my grandpa again and enjoy a long stimulating conversation about how the neighborhood has progressed. My uncle on the other hand felt quiet slighted and decided to go to facebook about it "Christina Hildreth that would be your Grandfather!!!!! Respect as he would want and taught us all! It's really sad to be brainwashed and manipulated to disgrace people who cared, loved and supported you!! Disagreeing with views and ideas is one thing but hate is a horrible thing to live with and will destroy a soul! And btw is a lonely place once reality sets in and realize bridges were burned and one is left with nothing. Some use to be wise enough to get it!!!!"

I couldn't believe that I had hurt their family this much in my small statement of I love the smell of cigarettes as well and I haven't even smoked them before. I have always had a hard time trying to find the family peace between my uncle and I. We all love each other, but have very different view points on this world and the world to follow. But something that I think needs to be shared with this blog because I believe this will reach almost every member of my family, I love my family very much. I'm sorry for the hurt that I might have caused. Something I can not stress enough apparently. I feel like I'm always apologizing to them for putting my foot into my mouth. Apparently it's a disease I have, maybe I can go to the doctors and get a doctors note for it.

But it begs the question that during everyone's Christmas celebrations who else has family that they try to avoid because of some fight or different points of view that you just can't seem to settle. According to Zazu "There's one in every family, and they always find a way to ruin special occasions" ha ha ha.

Anyway life is going great on this end just chugging along and swimming

Looking forward to keep everyone posted on what's happening in my life.

Much Love Chris