Ojai, California

So, the first five years of marriage is great for most people. These five years will either make or break you. I found out that on the hard edge of being a teenager that adulthood is nothing to be celebrating.

Ojai, California Just outside of town little walking park

Ojai, California Main Street

Zaq and I had just gotten married, we were living in Ojai, California.

This is a small rendering of our first apartment. I loved it. I was going to turn it into the cover of Desert Book Catalog. We barely had any furniture. I was lucky at the time Zaq picked out this apartment and began paying for it before we got married, it was a complete surprise for me to come to our first home together. I both loved and hated being there.

Our first living room. I was the one that started our
DVD/Blu ray collection. Now we just use the Firestick
with the Terrium App. Check out that old school television.

Ahh, I miss that couch. Nothing says comfy couch like levi.

I loved being a new wife that didn't have to work, I waited all day long for my hubby to come home and be with me. I loved putting on my little duty hat and pretending that the house actually needed to be cleaned, we didn't have any kids at the time so looking back and pretending to clean that apartment was an accurate statement. I tried playing chef, but the best meals I could come up with were spaghetti with marinara sauce or quesadillas. As a wedding gift I even got a cook book, but I was too intimated to make any of the meals from Better Homes and Garden First Cook Book. That book to me still is intimating.

Kitchen Entry Island
I miss that Island

Kitchen Area

Hey look for once clean dishes.
I think that was the only time I actually
did dishes without a never ending battle.

Our Dining Area

I loved being so in love that when Zaq would come home the kisses were passionate like they always are in the beginning of any relationship. The long kisses and holding each other and just laying next to each other. Ahh the romance. But for me it was completely different. I loved Zaq and Zaq loved me, but sex wasn't sex for me, for me it was a time where Zaq was in control and I would lay there lifeless. I hated sex my brain just couldn't shut off every time was a process for me to wrap my head around. Zaq would try so hard to make me happy and to get me to enjoy sex and I couldn't. I couldn't figure it out, this was a our first real time trying for sex, for those orgasms that every other woman could have. Not me, there was something wrong with me. We would try different ways of enjoying sex and I couldn't do it. Zaq could always finish, but not me. Zaq would try stimulating me in other areas in other ways and I just couldn't handle it. I would utterly shut down.

ah reflecting 10 years later, one dresser with
 three drawers lol. Plus listening to music
before bedtime to help you fall asleep.

Such a small laundry list

ahh back when we tried to sleep under the same blanket.
We discovered we're burrito baby sleepers
separate blankets for everyone lol.

There was also part of me that hated this apartment. I hated living in Ojai because Zaq would leave for work then come home. He would come home from work so stressed over his job that playing video games was his way of dealing with the stress. Something I could never understand I had observed other marriages where when the spouses come home after a long days work they sit down and spend time with their families watching the news or some melodrama television. Not go in another room and play video games with their brothers. At that time Zaq and his brothers were playing a game called Warhammer Online. One would play a tank, another a healer, and the last warrior, now for those that don't video game this is called the holy trinity of gaming where you go in and kill everything in your path while having a body guard and healer. This was Zaq's way of dealing with the stress from his job, but this wasn't something I was a part of. I hated it. I hated watching him do something in our home without me. Isn't it enough that he got to leave the apartment and interact with other people? What was worse was we were living in Ojai California, I knew no one, I didn't even know how to find a Wendy's. I knew where the grocery store was, I knew where the McDonalds and Taco Bell was, partially because they were right next door to each other, but other than that I was in a whole new place and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where anything was.

Shower

So little space for such a small couple lol

Self Reflection 2008

Luckily Jackie lived 8 blocks from our apartment. She was living in a house owned by her father. She lived there with a few of her other children. First there was Jesse and Rosanna they had been married for a few years he was working as a special effects artist but was in between landing his big break. Joe and Arissa lived there as well they had been married 4 months before we were. They were both working at the Ojai Valley Inn and Spa as well and enjoying being newly weds without having to worry about money. Jackie had been raised in Ojai and knew a lot of the families in our ward. I was such a small little tiny mouse at the time that I don't even remember one name of someone that I might have met there at the time. Jackie had a calling to make sure that the missionaries had somewhere to go for meals. I loved that, because whenever they didn't have somewhere to go they would either land at Jackie's house and we would all join her, or they would land at my house and I got to play special little house wife and make sure that dinner was planned out in just the right time.

Lookout at Ojai, CA

Vineyards of Oaji, California

In this apartment is also where I experienced my first real earth quake. It was hilarious because I was sitting at home and suddenly I felt something like a giant pushing around one of the apartment walls, just one big push and then it was all over.

Then after three months of living in Ojai Zaq came home and announced that he had been laid off. The company realized that three managers in Inn room dining was one too many. Luckily the company didn't want Zaq to sue for wrongful termination so they gave a generous severance package. I call this time in my life our real honeymoon.

After coming home that night and announcing that Zaq had lost his job we came up with a game plan. We went and approached Jackie to see if we can move in with her, what was one more couple in the house? Well Arissa was acting Matriarch of the house at the time, she was planning on turning Zaq's old room into her office and didn't want her plans to be interrupted. She offered us another room in the house, a room without a door, it was a pool room that was attached to the living room. It had no door, just a sliding access door to the back yard and a front door that was accessed through the living room. Arissa and Zaq are brother and sister, but could never see eye to eye with each other on their decisions, so Zaq moved up and moved on and decided that the best place for us to be then was back in Utah.

Back in the day when we all lived in Ojai we all made a tradition of going to get dinner together for Taco Tuesdays. Loved this place. Loved hanging with these folks.

Jesse, Rosanna, Jackie and Hyrum

Joe, Arissa, Me, and Zaq

Being

Inspiration is a fickle thing, hope you all enjoy it.

So a long time ago, and by that I mean 13 - 14 years ago my best friend paid me the compliment of saying that I reminded her of Rebecca Sharp from the novel Vanity Fair. To me I thought okay, How is it that I, of all people, remind her of Rebecca Sharp.

In my own head I am a small little person that doesn't say much in the crowded room. I feel that I have a introvert personality which means, that to me going out in a crowded room over whelms me pretty easily and I don't like leaving my house. Sometimes when I do go to big huge events ESPECIALLY when we lived in Provo Utah I would get these horrible butterflies in my stomach because I knew that the people I would be meeting and talking to would never accept my awesomeness at the time. So often I would feel left out of conversations, and alone because no one would take the time to get to know me.

About two years ago another close friend of mine admitted that I intimidated her when I first met her. I thought HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???? I barely speaking in large groups and since having all three of our children I am not that adventurous. I stay behind in a lot of things because it is outside my comfort zone. And I hid behind our children. They used to say in our board game group that if Chris is holding a baby she's the traitor in the game. Which is a very true statement I feel my kids bring more attention to me than I bring to myself.

I am now living in a community in Oregon that accepts me and all my flaws and in all my awesomeness. Zaq told me about 6 months ago that my greatest quality that I possess is my persistence. No matter how many times I've fallen down I always get back up. No matter how many times we've moved I've always worked my hardest to establish a home within a month of moving into our new apartment. And no matter how many times I felt uncomfortable going to Relief Society and sitting by myself I have done it. I have endured all the awkwardness in order to achieve my greatness.

To the women that read this blog you need to identify those good qualities that you possess and embrace them. Be that woman that stands out as the greatest thing that another person wants to admire. I'm learning to embrace my awesome power. We recently moved into a new ward about six months ago I realized it was my persistence that got me to where I am today. Today we signed up to feed the missionaries in our ward 6 times in the next two weeks. AND I LOVE IT. I love being that charitable with my time and our food allowances. Recently we've been on a tight budget with our food money and things are tight, but I know that by feeding the missionaries, maybe they can save their money and get something that they need, or help someone else down the road with what that person needs.

But that being said I can understand why my friend compared me to Rebecca Sharp for those that have read the book or seen the movie Rebecca Sharp is an amazing woman who raises above her situation and makes the best of all the situations that she's in and never gives up hope to be a society woman. Yes at one point she does lose her way and falls down the path of over pleasing in order to be part of that society, but in the end she finds someone that will make her happy. But my point in comparing myself to Rebecca Sharp is that I will always raise from the ashes of moving to a new place and I will overcome my shyness in order to be a pillar of the community and to help people that are in need when I can.

This is Kubo and the two strings, for those that haven't seen it yet.
Go, go now
I can not recommend this movie enough I love this movie

This is who I am:

I am a mom, a mean mom? "HELLS YES" I spank my kids when they need spanking, I hug my kids when they ask it, I give make sure they eat when they truly want to eat and are hungry enough to desire the food that is made for them.

I am a woman, a woman who in my childhood has been molested, but with the help of my husband I overcame that. I enjoy movies (action, psychological thrillers, dramatic, some chick flicks, spy movies and children's movies), TV shows (when I finally sit down because my kids are pitching a fit to be nursed or comforted) mostly dramatic tv, some comedies, I am a nerd. I love Battlestar Galatica, Babylon 5, I haven't given Star Trek enough of a chance, I love Charmed, Reign, Tudors, Once Upon a Time, SVU (dick wolf anything really) the Chicago series, currently enjoying some old X-men.

Hobbies I have are Cross Stitching, Painting Rocks, doing fill it in puzzles which are crossword puzzles but instead of giving you a hint to what the word is they give you the word to fit into the puzzle. I love playing video games Guild Wars 2, Warhammer online, Guitar Hero was my first big video game, I've loved watching Kingdom Hearts and played a little. I love playing board games Kingsburg, Coup, Mysterium, Sentinels of the Multiverse, and Thurn and Taxis are by far my favorite games to play.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am a charitable woman who loves to serve those around me, both in my ward and in my community to the best of my ability.

I am a wife that has been in love with the same man for 10 years. We don't argue we banter, we tease each other and love each other very much. In our relationship we've never been in an argument, we hate being mad at each other, the maddest that we've been at each other only lasts at most 30 minutes then we get over ourselves and go back to loving one another. There is no silent treatment.  I can't imagine my life without him. I am persistent and I always set up a loving home for my family to enjoy.

I am me. If you don't know who you are. Find out who you are. Be that awesome person that is you. Embrace it. Stop hiding in the closet. Be that awesome being that you have buried down inside.

Father to Son Relationships, or none existing relationships

This blog is to all the father's out there. This number is for you.

Zaq and Aiden, Aiden age 2

Zaq is an awesome dad. He plays with the kids when he finds time to. He totally promotes Aiden playing video games and hamming it up for his stream and camera all the time. For those of you that don't know Zaq streams video games and new games not yet released. So for those of you that don't watch Zaq's twitch channel Aiden will sit with his dad either a) on his lap, b) between his legs, standing or c) in a chair right next to him. Zaq plays a variety of different games all of which Aiden is eagerly engaged in watching and enjoying all the fun that comes with gaming.

Aiden age 3 enjoying his goliath action figure
Zaq got from the Evolve Developers for his help with their game

Zaq trying to game with both Aiden, age 3 and Layoni age 12 months

Aiden and Zaq, Aiden age 6 months

This relationship between father and son didn't come easily. For the first year of Aiden's life, Aiden hated, not just hated, but SERIOUSLY HATED Zaq. Anytime I would leave Aiden alone with Zaq, Aiden would know and begin screaming five minutes after I left. There was nothing, not a single thing that he could do to help calm Aiden. And at first Zaq felt bad and defeated because at that time when Aiden was first born I held a calling in our church helping run the primary program, which means dealing with more little children. So Zaq eventually gave up trying to please him and would just let him cry out until I returned home, I wised up and asked our family to help in this dilemma of helping Aiden not be so traumatized every time I would leave the house.

Aiden and Zaq, Aiden age 4. Solar Eclipse Day

Layoni and Zaq, Layoni age 9 months

Layoni was a little bit easier she was and always will be a daddy's girl. She's got him so wrapped around her little finger that she is allowed to snuggle him even after bed time. Especially if she's not feeling good. Recently we've been having to cut down on her dairy intake because she's been having a hard time pooping. But progressing on she's always been pretty mellow around Zaq so he wasn't that scared. Also I didn't leave the house as often with Layoni either. Although after having a second child it seemed Zaq had gotten a clue as to how to handle a child under the age of one.

Blue Lake Ward Relief Society Pot Luck Dinner

But flash forward to tonight's main event. I had a Relief Society activity to attend, pretty much just a fancy excuse to get out of the house and socialize something I don't do regularly, regularly I don't leave the house. So I conned Zaq into watching all three children at the same time in the same place for an hour and a half. Literally I left the house at 6:25 and was home by 8:10 so an hour and forty five minutes. Not an extreme request considering I'm at home with our children from 7:00 am to 5:00 pm by myself and I have to get up in the middle of the night when they wake because lets not fool ourselves Zaq is the breadwinner and needs as much sleep as possible, something I have honored since Aiden was born and Zaq was working two jobs to make sure that I didn't have to get a job.

Aiden, Zaq, and Alexander. Aiden age 5,
Alexander age 3 months

So I came home from my little excursion only to be told that Alexander has been crying for the last hour and a half. Dear God I hope the man was exaggerating. But the second I pick him up from his bouncy chair Alexander stops crying and is the happy content little baby he usually is, unless he's tired then he's a big ol hand full of ANGRY babiness. But Zaq has stated now that he's done getting tricked into baby sitting Alexander until Alexander can actually be chill with him. Which in the case of Alexander happens around the year or two year mark.

Alexander being held by Zaq, first smiles, age 1 month

I want men out in the universe to know that you're not alone. Men, although some men do have the gentle touch with babies called the baby whisper, don't do well with newborn babies. I think it's something in their mentality. Zaq just loses interest in babies, especially if they are crying. Zaq usual solution to babies crying is give them back to their parents, but what happens when you're the parent? Zaq will just put Alexander down in order to not lose his cool completely, because Zaq knows that Alexander is okay, he might be crying, but at least he's not getting angry in his arms.

And truly it's okay to put a baby down if they are crying, and even if they are not it's okay to put a baby down. Although my whole world revolves around these little tykes, and I rarely put them down, but I'm just a chill mom like that. That being said Alexander is reaching the age of "what's my brother or sister doing I want to follow them" or "Ohh mom, what's that toy down there, no not that, that one." so he's becoming a little more impatient with just the plain old sit and stare routine of his life.

Never feel inadequate as a parent. You're doing the best that you know how to do, everything just falls into place as it happens, but just like dory says from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming"

Damage report of the first time I left Aiden alone with Zaq

I had left the house for an hour. We also had Zaq's brother Hyrum living with us at the time of this incident. One little boy got into a marker and redecorated the walls, floor, counter, and dishwasher because two grown men were busy playing video games.

Guess who they made clean it up, Aiden

Damage report number two.

Aiden had seen me put on makeup before so he thought he would give it a try himself. This was all makeup done by himself. NO ONE was helping him put this make up on. Although that being said if this kid ever wanted a job in the make up industry this could be his opening image, because dang he looks like hes got a shiner.

Who I am

Hello Sweetie!

This is me, back in December
when I got my haircut for the
first time in roughly 5 years.

My name is Christina Hildreth and if you couldn't tell by that opening line I am a huge fan of the show Doctor Who. Originally I was going to use fake names to protect the people involved and to make sure that feelings were spared, but as everything is tied to my real name accounts anyway it seemed like a moote point. I will be working diligently to fix the names if you read ahead before I've gotten that far.

The actual stamp

So let's start with an introduction. My name is Christina Hildreth. I am 30 years old and quite proud of the life I have lived up to this point and I am looking forward with anticipation to the future and everything that it has to hold. Zachary, aka Zaq with a Q it's important to remember the Q part 1. because it's unique and 2. because it reveals a lot about his personality. Zaq and I have been married coming up 10 years this July. I can't believe that it's been 10 years. Time just seems to have flown by. On the back of our wedding invitations we stamped the slogan "and they lived happily ever after" so we both figured why not use it in the my blog. So this is the blog about being the Happily Ever After Wife :D.

Zaq and I have three children. I don't know if we're done yet, but for right now three is a solid number, we've recently upgraded to a minivan to accommodate the little rugrats, so that gives us the potential of more people in the car, but we'll see.

Aiden at the local park age 4

Aiden is 5 years old and is quite the alpha in his own little universe he says jump and his little siblings say how hi?. He enjoys playing video games such as Pajama Sam, Torchlight, Dungeon Defenders and Orcs Must Die, along with a variety of flash games as well, but those are the "big" titles he plays currently. We are currently striving to get him a new game called Ghost of a Tale, it's the story of a little mouse and the adventures in the big world. Aiden is currently homeschooled and our goal this year is to get him to read by sounding things out.

Layoni at the beach age 2

Layoni prounouced Lay O Knee. Layoni is 2 and a half and follows her little brother as if she was his shadow. Everything he does she does as well. Everything he shows her how to do she does it, like here Layoni I'll show you how to turn on our bedroom light, so that when mom and dad come into our room to yell at me for turning on the light it will be you that they are yelling at because you're the one that turned on the light. That being said she will from time to time make her own trouble. She loves making a mess anything that she can squish in between her fingers she loves. Messes I've cleaned up because of her: baby powder (but really that's just a right of passage) sour cream, butter, cocoa powder, orange juice, milk, Johnson's baby bath soap, lotion. She can find a pen, marker, pencil or crayon faster than any of can remember leaving it within arms reach of her. Our walls are a testament to her art work. 

Then last but not least Alexander. He is 6 months old. He is in the middle of teething right now and driving us all a little nuts because when he's grumpy nothing consoles him. Usually he is the happiest go lucky kid around. He usually looks at people and when they look back that when he'll hit them with his big huge smile and everyone just falls in love with him. He kind of a chunky kid right now probably a growth spurt that is about to happen, but it's made me want to call him Tatonka. 

So this is me in a small little nut shell. I'm a mom of three little tykes. A wife of 10 years. A girl who turned into an adult. A woman who enjoys playing board games every weekend. A girl who enjoys reading, sewing cross stitch kits, painting rocks, showing off my nerdiness in general and am looking forward to playing guild wars 2 again one day along with some other MMOs one day with all three of my kids, because lets face it the family that raids together stays together. 

So why should you read this blog? Well because 1. you're probably in the same boat I'm in never enough time in the day to do the things you really want to do so might as well settle on the small things that you can enjoy and 2. because I bet my stories will become really funny and entertaining once I get the big guns out. 

So if you're interested on getting updates as I go around fixing everything go ahead and click follow. If you're interested in just finding out more about me here is my 

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