the beginning and the end

So this blog is dedicated to the feelings that we all have when it comes to death and life.

Alright so a lot of things are currently happening in my life that this post will cover. I just hope that I can contain all comments and thoughts into a coherent statement.

So one thing that is happening this weekend is that my grandmother is finally moving to Salt Lake City from Wickenburg Arizona she will no longer be a migratory bird that flies away at the first sign of bad weather in Utah. I am so happy for her to be able to move back to Utah where she can be close to her youngest son, and youngest grandchild. I love that she has this opportunity to live where she pleases.

There is a down side to her moving it means that the house that my grandma and grandpa purchased together will no longer be available for us to visit. Which in all actually hasn't happened in almost 10 years. My grandpa died 12 years ago this July, and I can't help but see him down in Wickenburg Arizona. He lived down there for like three years by himself before my grandma could retire and join him down there. So every Holiday or four day weekend was a constant trip down to Arizona. Even my cousin and I remember having summer vacations with just Grandpa for the summer months down in Arizona. But it's over now. I think it hit me again today that my Grandpa really is gone. He would have been 79 this year, but alas I didn't celebrate him. I remembered him for a fleeting moment, but as life does one of the kids distracted me from a full moments remembrance for the man.

Coincidentally enough I actually got married on this death date two years later without even thinking about. But back to my point is that when death hits our families we can go about it one of two ways. We can give up all hope and fall into the depths of despair at the lose of our family member and the fact that some people believe that we will never see that person again. On the other side some people exhibit faith and hope that there is more to this life than just this. Some like me believe that life is eternal that through the atonement of Jesus Christ we can live again.

Now up to this point on this blog I have been silent about my religion because it me it wasn't anything that I should preach about it. I've lived all my life in Utah and in Utah there are two types of people. People that are Mormon and people that aren't. People that aren't Mormon don't want to hear about Mormons because they are constantly bombarded by Mormons. But now that I no longer live in Utah and people are open to what I have to say I am more willing and able to talk about my religion, my beliefs and weird things that I believe in.

Now that being said I'm not one of those typical Mormons that won't talk to you even if you tell me that you're atheist believe me I respect all other religions. Just because we say that our church is the one true church doesn't mean that we are trying belittle your religion. We say that because we believe that our church has the true gospel of Christ. Now if your Jewish or whatever I'm not gonna go out and have a heated argument about religion because to me there is more there is more to a person than just their religious beliefs. This is something important that my grandpa taught me. Just because he didn't believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints doesn't mean that he didn't believe in Jesus Christ himself. Surprisingly enough to my family my grandpa was a spiritual man that did believe in the after life. He even had us read a poem about how he's not sleeping in his grave and that we shouldn't weep for him.

A few nights before he actually pasted away I got the opportunity to sit and visit with him one last time because in the back of my mind I knew that I wouldn't get the opportunity again. So I went to the hospital where he was staying and just had to sit and visit with him. I began crying, which for my grandpa was blackmail. He hated to see people cry because it made him feel so uncomfortable. But I cried anyway and told him of my feelings that I felt that it would be the last thing we would do together. He sympathized with me and told me to stop crying because he believed that he would still be there in the after life. He told me that it was selfish of me to cry for those that have died because it's just us missing them. And those that have died and departed this earthly life are living in paradise.

A prophet by the name of Joseph Smith said "The telestial kingdom is so great, if we knew what it was like we would kill ourselves to get there." Now for those of you that don't know this phrase go find an LDS missionary, those are the ones with name tags on their chests walking all around the globe. You can ask them and they'll tell you what I'm talking about in a heart beat. But essentially what it is, is the lowest level of heaven that we believe is attainable in the after life.

But anyway back to the subject on point there are many things in this life that can lead someone to be depressed and dwell upon their own life and feel inadequate but what I suggest people do if forget themselves, go find someone that needs help and help that person. Currently whenever I feel depressed about our financial situation (because it's not perfect) I focus on what do my kids need right this moment .... Breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? they need a little me time? Okay great. They need help turning on cartoons, alright that is my form of service right now. But one day I hope to do more, to be more, but until that day happens all I can do is just keep swimming, just keep swimming. 

So step out of your funk and go about your day with a light in your step and know that God is with you in all things.