The Village Part 2

As many of you recall I wrote about my childhood and the village that it took to raise me.

I am going to tell you the story of my future. We'll see if any of it comes true or not. This is honestly my hopes and dreams for the next 5 to 10 years. I have grand illusions that I hope will come true.

Zaq and his 6 siblings
Arissa, Jesse
Aaron and Zaq
Stephanie, Richard and Hyrum

So my husband was born into a large family. A Dad and Mom that love their kids like crazy and just want them to experience the most out of life. Jesse came first served in the Marines and now works around the world for Industrial Light and Magic his dream job. Arissa arrived next she has two sons and is living in Texas taking over the real estate industry and selling like a mad man. Zaq came after that he served a mission in New Zealand and has worked for 20 years doing job after job trying to be able to provide for his family. Aaron followed shortly after and is a successful entrepreneur. Stephanie followed Aaron and she's living in Nevada right now finding herself. Then my in laws decided to have one more kid, which turned into twins. Hyrum and 4 minutes later Richard. I have never experienced a family this large just trying to succeed at life and the trials that come with it.

My mom and I

For me it's always just me and my mom taking on the world and trying not to kill each other when we each hit our cycles. Which has suited us until I got married. I have learned that with life comes the challenge of making people happy. But the thing is you can't make everyone happy. You can only make yourself happy. I would love to say that I am staying in Oregon and that we found a perfect house and Zaq is getting a better job than the one he's got right now, but that's just not what is happening.

Our situation is one that is hard to speak about so I haven't said too much. We moved out to Oregon with the plan that a roommate we housed in our first apartment in Utah would be employing Zaq as a Vice President of his company a posh title with a beautiful salary that was suppose to provide for this family. But the second we moved out here the job was lost. Our roommate severed all communication with us. He logs into facebook everyday and almost everyday I tell him good morning. I am one of those people that feels the need to have everyone like me. Now to my family this behavior seems nuts, but to me I know our friend means to do the best that he can, but for whatever reason things just fell through and rather than talk about it because he "song failed" he'd rather avoid the situation all together. A crappy situation, but Zaq and I don't hold any hard feelings towards our friend. We just pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off again. It's just the way we roll. During this time we've had the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints help in covering the money we lack to pay for our bills. We're hoping that by moving to Maryland this will cease to be an issue.

Joe (Arissa's husband) Arissa, Me and Zaq

Jesse, Rosanna (Jesse's Wife) Jackie and Hyrum

So my first experience with Zaq's village happened roughly 10 years ago. When we first got married we lived in Ojai California. We found a nice little apartment not too far away from Zaq's family that was all living with Jackie (Zaq's mom). In a little house that she was renting lived Jesse and Rosanna, Joe and Arissa, and Hyrum. I couldn't believe that so many people could live together without wanting to kill each other. Plus on top of that everyone had their own room with a door that always seemed shut. It was so foreign me to understand siblings. When Zaq and I were dating and we in the middle of our long distance relationship I would visit California every two months or so and to have Zaq followed around by his little brother Hyrum seemed so weird and strange to me. Now I understand that Hyrum would follow him like a puppy because Hyrum only wanted to be like his older brother. This was our weekly ritual go to dinner together. I believe this picture was taken on our last night of dinners together. I miss all these people so much. Just low key people that just want to live and be the best that they can be. Their rule in the house. No Drama. There were no problems back then it seemed. Just solid, down to earth people. But of course Zaq and I would move back to Utah only after living in California for three months. I felt bad, but Zaq felt (yes he follows his gut about where we should move and what is best for our family) that moving to Utah would be a good idea. So we moved back to Utah. We lived there for a year before Jackie and her beau came for a visit around the 2009 General Conference session in Salt Lake City. Jackie had told us how everyone had moved to Colorado and that not everyone was happy in their situation. So Zaq felt like being the galant hero and trying to rescue his mom from her situation.

David, Jackie and I Temple Square October 2009

Zaq, Arissa, Richard and Aaron
Poker night

So in 2009 we moved out to Colorado. We lived in a house with Arissa, Joe, Jackie, Zaq and I, then Hyrum moved in with us shortly after our arrival. We miraculously lived in harmony overall. We all lived with Arissa, so her rules ruled the house without question. But that was when Jackie and Hyrum and I got the idea to attend college. Jackie wanted to help Hyrum find a path in life. Help him find out what he wanted to do with his life. And I attended because I wanted to figure out what I wanted from this life. Did I want to become some successful CEO and take over the world? Did I want to become a nurse and tend to people in hospitals? Or did I just want to waste time until something else came along. I stupidly chose the later. I attended classes for a certificate in Medical Billing and Coding, but I could never understand how to code the first part of the doctors procedure. I could understand everything else. Just not that first part. And of course that coincided with us moving back to Utah because I was pregnant anyway so it became a moot point and just another 30,000 dollar debt that now my hubby has to pay off before we can actually ever buy our own house.

Zaq it's all fun and games until your wife puts your hair into pig tails
then it becomes hilarious

We actually tried again to live with Hyrum and Jackie and David when we were living to Provo, Utah, but no one could find a solid job that would provide for everyone so we split from the "group house" and went our separate ways for a few years. We took in Hyrum and I honestly can say I miss him, he was the perfect babysitter, hey look the kids are down for a nap I can run to the grocery store real quick and Hyrum can hold down the fort. It was nice, having one more person to help with the chores around the house. Plus the hilarious fun things like playing board games together or just vegging and watching a movie or tv show. But Hyrum wanted to join the Air Force and be the best that he could be. Jackie and David moved down to Ephraim, Utah and start being farmers. They rent a small apartment with a plot they've built for chickens and a small garden.

Aiden and Grandpa David gardening

So we're moving to Maryland to be closer to these awesome individuals that we've gone 4 years without living with. I think and hope and pray that we're doing the right thing for our family. It feels like a really good opportunity.

Zaq, Hyrum and Jackie
talking on the first night all of arrived in Colorado

This is the plan: For the first year Hyrum, Zaq, me and the kids are going to get a small apartment. Then in about a year or so David and Jackie are going to follow. Jackie and David want to help in taking care of the kids while doing missionary work at Ford Mead. What a blessing it will be to have in my life someone that will help comfort Alexander while I'm trying to do dishes. The pain of being a mom doing dishes for your family while you're six month old son cries his head off because you're not holding him. Plus because of Alexander's age I haven't been able to put Aiden first or Layoni first and get them in the right mind set of exploring the universe.

Zaq always use to tease me by saying that nothing compares to Washington DC and their museums, their fourth of July fireworks, their temple and their christmas temple lights, or the Cherry blossom festival. So now I get to experience those things with my kids.

I hope and wish and pray that I get to show the kids all the things that I could never even dream about seeing. Joseph Smith and Church history sites back east. Colonial sites. Let alone Gettysburg. Plus escaping and running away to New York to catch a Broadway play with my mother in law when we've gone crazy enough. I can't wait for my kids to experience a grandpa like what I did. I can't wait for them to have all these opportunities of learning and growing and for me to be able to put them first rather than putting the house work first, or their sibbling first. I'll have a village to help in raising my kids. A village that helps me and helps them. That have their own knowledge and experiences that they can pass down.

Aiden, Layoni and Alexander

To Aiden, Layoni, and Alexander. I want you to know that I love you, we're moving again, I know Aiden we keep moving, but mommy and daddy are really trying to find the best situation for us to raise you in. We're hoping that this it. Daddy has a job already lined up with a network friend he knows, so hopefully it lines up correctly and that we can do all the fun things we want to do more often. Aiden I want you to experience the most with living in Maryland and I hope I am able to teach you all the history that is so rich in this country. To Layoni I hope that I am able to teach you the same things and you can continue in your sweet and gentleness. Alexander I hope you grow up surrounded by your family and know that we all love you. 

To my Breeze Family in Utah - I love you, I'm sorry we're not moving back to Utah which is I know what your want, but its not something I want. At the end of the day the only thing I can be in control of is making myself happy. I can't make my mom happy, I can't make you happy that is something that you're in charge of.

To my Tuero Family that might read this - I'm sorry we're not closer. I could have gotten to know everyone and that I was raised with roots deep in this family, but just wasn't something that could have happened over night. But I am happy to know the family that I know and to be so loved with being an outsider. I love you all and hope to honor my father by loving my kids and making sure that they know who they are.

To my readers - sometimes in life you get run down by the everyday life of having a job that barely pays the bills or that barely gives you the bare essentials in this life. and who knows maybe you're wealthy beyond belief and are just reading this to reflect on how well you have it. To my readers just make yourself happy. I know that's a foreign concept to people, especially if you're anything like me. I am in the middle of trying to figure out what this move will bring to my life personally. I had a physical examination today and the doctor was asking me what do I do for physical exercise or weight control. And I truly couldn't answer her. I weigh 190 pounds, I've given up on looking like a super model. According to every study our there I'm obese, and the sad thing is I'm okay with it. Yeah sure I'd love to lose 50 pounds. But that would mean changing my eating habits (which lets be honest should really be changed, but I just don't want to) I eat eggos and nutella at least once every day. I have chocolate chip muffins for breakfast, I have a healthy turkey sandwich for lunch and whatever I choose to cook for dinner, which never has a single vegetable. Which means that my kids never eat vegetables. By the way just because I eat like a pig does not mean I feed my kids that crap. Luckily Aiden loves Bananas so we always have a supply of bananas around the house so when he gets hungry he gets a banana. And luckily God knows best because Alexander only gets the best nutrients from breast milk enough though I might not make the best choices when it comes to food. But hopefully once we get fully settled in Maryland I can begin focusing on better food, and better physical exercise for myself. I have gone 10 years in taking care of my husband and now my kids. I love that part of my life, but it would be nice to start working out in a gym or just walking without having a child strapped to my back for once. lol

Anyway I can hear Alexander getting hungry again. I look forward to the future and the new challenges that it will bring. I love traveling and the new atmosphere it provides.