My Childhood

Cathy Bustamante is my mom. She is an amazing mom. I will never be able to tell her and give her story
justice. Let alone thank her for everything that she has ever done for me in my life. And of course while
trying to rewrite this section she and I were in the middle of a fight. She got mad at me because I told her
that I didn't want to talk to her because she and I are boring people and we don't have enough to say to
each other to force an hour of talking to each other every week.

But back to being raised by Cathy. To the best of my knowledge Cathy has been in two intimate
relationships. One with my biological dad Martin. Followed by Raphael Bustamante. That being said
Cathy would always put my needs first before her own. As a parent I can see that being with your child
24 hours 7 days a week, yes your child drives you nuts because you do everything for that person to
make them happy, but it seems likes its never enough with children sometimes.

The relationship she shared with Martin was unhealthy due to the abuse that would occur while he was intoxicated. After the relationship ended between Cathy and Martin ended he decided to embrace himself and have the courage to come out as gay. Now whether he was gay or bisexual I honor him as my dad, I don't really care about what he identified as. In this day and age it doesn't make a difference as long as they are happy and respected that's the only goals in life that I would think that are worth achieving. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

I don't have a lot of memories of Martin, 3 to be exact. I will try and keep these in order so as to not confuse too many people reading this blog. The first memory of Martin that have is at age 7, 14, and 20.

The next relationship she had was with Raphael. An unhealthy one without a doubt. Ever two years they would separate, at which point she would live with her parent John and Judy. When we lived with Raphael it was a good time in the beginning of the relationship. Holidays were great, no expense spared, flowers and dinner for Valentines day and Christmas was a never ending celebration between putting up the tree and wrapping all the numerous presents that he would buy was a complete dream come true for a kid of seven. With Raphael when things were good, they were great. But when things turned they always turned for the worse.

Cathy was amazing through the good times and the bad times. She shielded me from a lot of the problems that she had while I was growing up. Between going back and forth between my grandparents house and going to our "family" house in West Valley Cathy wanted something to stay consistent in my life, so she choose my social life. I attended the same school and school district in entire education.

After returning from San Jose I attended an elementary school in John and Judy's district called Uintah Elementary. These are the first forming memories I have from around that time. I was about 7 when memories start forming more firmly in my head. At age 7 I had this bowl style haircut because my mom tried to cut my hair herself the one and only time she ever tried, I looked like a boy, to me this was the devastation of the century. I couldn't believe it that I had a boys haircut. Plus on top of that people around my kept calling me Chris, I hated it. During the school year I remember living with John and Judy because we lived in the "old" house, that's what every one started calling it after they moved out. I miss that house. You could see the Salt Lake Downtown sky line from the windows in my grandparents room in the front of the house. When my mom and I lived there I was so young that we actually shared a room. See that upper window off the side of the house? that was our room. I would wake up in the morning and find my grandma Judy sitting on a heating vent in the winter trying to warm up. During the summer though everyone would run to the top of the stairs where the swamp cooler would turn on and finally blow cool air through the house.

During this time period of ages 6-8 years old I was enrolled in a ballet class. I loved ballet class, but it
always seemed that they got me to "Suck in your tummy, and your tush, stand tall" I think was what they
would always say to everyone as we began class. I would see the older girls when I left class. Tall and
slender simply beautiful. I wished I could be like them beautiful and spirited and light on their feet so
delicate and graceful. I always pictured myself as a beautiful ballerina. Instead as a teenager I grew up
in the "band". I respectful group none the less, but truly a group that embraced being who we are.

While living in this house I first met my biological father. His name was Martin and I didn't know who he
was, I just knew that he was my "real" dad. I couldn't get any information after that. I can't remember
what we did when I met him, or how I felt I just knew that he was out there and I was here, and that to
me was all that mattered.

After living here, nothing was ever as good it felt. Although now that I think about it I'm sure that house
had it's problems just like every other house did. I can't imagine having little children in it currently, it
seemed so fragile in my day. It was a beautiful home to grow up in full of love, but also everything had a
place to be on display, nothing could ever been touched or messed with. Everything was cleaned and
tidy and well preserved. I remember my grandma having this silver coffee serving tray, she would polish
it and keep it preserved, but I to this day never remember her actually using it. Let along drinking coffee
she never that did, Grandpa on the other hand LOVED coffee, 10 cups a day even in the dead of
summer with 100 degrees boiling outside.

The new house was still in the sugar house area, just on the south side of Sugar House Park. Still within
range of everything that we were used to. The new house was smaller. Just a basement and main floor,
no hidden rooms or closets to lookout at. No big city view. No secret garden, just a regular house.
When my grandparents first moved in there they made friends with the neighbors. Even I made friends
with a couple that lived across the street. Mark and Tina Ottesen. The couple that invited me to attend
church with them and got me hooked to a community church in the neighborhood that felt nice and
inviting.

I attended the local school of Highland Park Elementary and then would walk home to my grandparents
house until my mom would come and pick me up to go back home to West Valley City. If I recall
correctly my "parents" were together for some of 6th grade until 8th grade somewhere in between there
they separated and we moved back in with my grandparents again. I never remember my mom bringing
my boxes and telling me pack up all my stuff we're moving. And I never remember her packing up my
stuff. With all the moving that we did I don't ever remember the details of how to got around. I just
remember the moving days when people from my family would show up to gather our stuff. I don't even
remember the moving trucks themselves.

I remember always having bad grades when my parents were together. Raphael rarely ever helped me do homework, so by the time we all got "home" everyone just wanted to veg and not think about the challenges that the next day would bring forward. While we lived my grandparents though I thrived in achieving good grades and being on the honor roll. I don't know why I went out of my way to please my grandparents versus my parents. I remember having a harder time living at home and not being depressed versus at my grandparents house where I could see my friends and it didn't seem that big of a deal to have friends over and hang out.

Shortly after buying the "new" house my grandpa retired from working at the Rocky Mountain Power
company. So that meant that I could spend my summer days with him. I loved it. I loved spending my
days with him because it was relaxing just sitting there on the front porch or patio just watching the sky
go by or watching the breeze blow through the trees. My summers always had schedules that needed
to be followed. 1 hour of typing, 1 hour of reading, 1 hour of project, (which was one summer was
puppets, then paper machete, and then the last summer project was clay I think) 1 hour of classes, and
1 hour of being outside.

Things just seemed easier being around my Grandpa than with anybody else. That being said, he could be bully and pick on people. Grandpa John didn't have a filter, if he thought chances are he would say it. He never believed in covering up how you felt or going around about it. If you don't like something say it. At least then it's out in the open. He would often pick on his children and the choices that they made in their lives. It often makes me wonder how he would view my life currently whether he would get along with Zaq or not. One wish is that these two men in my life could have met and gotten to know one another.

Anyway back to my childhood lol. During 6th grade my parents were living together again and living in
West Valley City. So in order for me to attend school in Salt Lake City my mom would wake me up at
5:00am to get dressed and eat something for breakfast after that we would leave and head to Salt Lake
City. She would drop me off and I would either a) fall back asleep, if I was truly tired, or b) I would
watch the classes cartoons gargoyles, x-men, batman which is usually what would happen. Then
around 7 or 8 I would get up and take off to either walk to school or catch the bus. Cathy on the other
hand would return to West Valley City to go to work from 7-4 and then take off from West Valley to go
to Salt Lake City to pick me up and then we would return home only to do the same thing again the
next day. I can't imagine the amount of gas that would take every week even now in these economic
times of gas costing 3.00 a gallon it's nuts to drive anywhere. I still love driving though. Love hoping
into the car with the kids and taking the scenic roads to get to the stores.

4th grade I remember being the new kid at school so I didn't want to get bullied, so I did the bulling, that lasted for all of five minutes before they threatened to call my mom then I quit it and stuck with what friends I could get. From what I can recall there was Julie and Melissa. The three of us would always stick together in elementary school and during recess and lunch. I was told then that I need to have glasses. I never wore them until 6th grade.

5th grade I remember we did a special teaching time about the titanic, and special classes from a
Japanese woman who would come and teach us origami and a few words in Japanese. I thought she
was so cool. I also remember being horribly embarrassed because one day there was a not sent
around class saying that I liked this certain boy, the sad thing I still remember his name being Garrett
one of the jocks at the time. The note finally made it around the class room straight to him, and of
course he was sitting across the desk from me, which made it even worse. After that the girl that
started the note, her house was on my path home, so I wrote on her fence that she was bitch, but her
dad caught me and that was another terrifying moment in my life, being caught doing something bad
by another parent. But nothing ever came of it luckily.

6th grade there was one other boy in my class with glasses. He was new to the school so I figured
since there was one other person with glasses I would be safe from being teased. But he blended in
with the popular kids, and I tried getting in at that time with the popular girls, but no such luck, so I
gave up. At that time my friends were Jessica, and Melissa still, and then began Kirsty and Brianne.
Melissa and Jessica were such lovely girls and never got into trouble. Brianne on the other hand as I
reflect back was bound to get me into trouble if we continued being friends, she moved I believe
because I can't remember her in junior high. Kirsty on the hand followed me into high school and that
were trouble for me started.

My childhood over all was good and well spent.