Vent Session. Right Now. BIG Ol BITCH FEST.

Alright so I've a beef with the great man upstairs.

I've been married for 10 years. 10 whole years of getting to know one another. Our pros, our cons. The words of Henry Higgins I've grown accustomed to [his] face. (One my favorite musicals as a personal side note). But seriously this has got to be the joke of the century right?

So Zaq and I have been married 10 years. When we first enjoyed that first year of marital bliss he idealized what kind of dad he would be. He wanted to be one of those dads whose kids are excited to see when he comes home. (Which they are)

He used to say that when we would have kids that I could stay at home with the kids and that when he would arrive home that would be when he would take over the responsibilities of being a parent and give me a break. Rarely Happens. Like tonight. I was hoping to get a certain part of the house cleaned up, but as usual Alexander our 8 month old son just wanted Mommy so I caved and feed him and cuddled him, tried putting him down, but that wasn't about to happen on Alexander's watch. So I check in with Zaq to see if he can put on his dad hat so that I can put on my maid hat and work, but did that work. THAT'S A BIG OL' NO.

Let me have a girls night so that he can have a boys night. Today was the first time in three months I left the house for two hours I was gone all by myself ..... Oh wait no I wasn't I had to take Alexander because when I leave Alexander with Zaq Alexander wigs out and just cries the whole time I'm gone.

Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I'm happy they are here. I hope in the future that this parenting job that I signed up for gets easier.

Or at least when they get older they are not so clinging. Oh wait. My favorite moment from today we were all watching Cars 3, I had just gotten back from visiting a friend who just had her brand new baby (which I got to hold, and can I just say "OMGoodness Babies are soooo tiny and cute, made me want a new one all over again, but luckily I'm not baby hungry right now with three kids that are so dependent upon me to provide for them) and I walk in and all of sudden Aiden our 5 year old jumps into my arms to be held, followed by our two year old, Layoni. Which as a mom you want that relationship with our kids. But as I sat down to get comfy and enjoy the movie Aiden just wanted to snuggle with me. Then about ten minutes into getting comfy with Zaq, Me and Aiden Layoni wants to join the cuddle fest so we make room for her to snuggle Zaq, but she doesn't want that either. So I'm snuggling two kids on my lap and Zaq is sitting there solo on the couch watching Cars 3.

Like don't get me wrong I feel bad for the guy that his kids don't like him as much as they love Mom because lets be realistic here I'm a doormat that lets them get away with everything because I just want them to behave with me. So punishments are less severe with Mom than when they are with Dad. But man does that make it tough on Mama.

Zaq claims I'm just a big Ol' Mama Bear that doesn't let go of my kids ever. But I don't think that true I'm constantly yelling at my kids to behave and stop acting like a "BUTTHEAD" a common word said around the house. Butthead. even now I'm laughing about it.

Don't get me wrong Ladies and Gentlemen I'm very lucky to have married Zaq. He has provided for me for 10 years. For 10 long years I've never had to get a job, unless I've really wanted one.

But in that 10 years he's been able to ditch the kids to further his career. What career can I take away from my experience with Aiden, Layoni, or Alexander. None. They had this cool seminar at the library about child care and child development mentally and physically that I was really interested in. Two hours once a month. that's it, and I couldn't even make that.

I remember finally consenting to having kids and I'm still happy I had my kids, they are awesome kids with awesome personalities but for reals when did I sign the paper work for 24 hour 7 days a week job? I thought I signed up with a partner that would help me with our kids, not just pay all the bills. Which I'm grateful for.

The turn side about my vent session is that I guess things could always be worse. I could be married to a man that enjoys partying and is never home. But that's not the case he's home every night. I could always be married to man that is 24/7 his career. But I'm not I married a man who enjoys video gaming and has shown that to our children and they enjoy sitting with him and watching him play video games.

I guess what I'm really venting is just the normal stuff that happens in an everyday relationship. Right?

Well from One Mama to the next. I think it's time for girls night soon.