Marriage Realities

So I've been thinking after watching a few chick flicks ... of course. Because true love, that love at first sight, that finding that one person you can't live without is nothing but in the movies.

Love is a strong connection that you have to another person that waxes and wanes just like the phases of the moon. Some days it's the great and everlasting love and you can feel that strong pull towards someone, other days you grow distant and are too busy to put time and effort into that relationship.

I used to watch chick flicks from sun up to sun down. I used to love them. I was convinced that one day that would be me. I would meet that man that just couldn't live without me because I was a magnificent person that was so good and awesome that picking a man would be my choice. That was my vision of course. Now looking down the barrel of an almost 10 year marriage it's a falsehood.

To quote a prophet from the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints "Soulmates are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price." Zaq and I both have spoken about this quote considering our marriage. We love each other very much, but we both know that if one of us were to shed this mortal coil we would have to remarry in order for our lives to continue on the path that we are currently on. What I mean by that is, IF Zaq were to pass away tomorrow I would need to either a) move back in with family, which truly is probably the easiest solution or b) remarry someone that is compatible with my children and with me. That being said I would truly miss Zaq if anything were to happen to him. Now to go find some salt to throw over my shoulder and some wood to knock, and whatever superstitions I can think of. Anyone have a rabbit's foot I could have? Lucky penny perhaps?

Zaq's motto in marriage was that his goal was to make the girl happy, that is if he can. I don't think he'd do well with a woman that was high maintenance. A high strung woman that requires their hair to be done every two to four weeks, or their nails to be done. That would require more money. Money that could and should be used in better places. I was never taught to believe that my hair or makeup is what would make me beautiful which is an awesome sentiment. Something that Zaq is very grateful for. Zaq and I have always been attracted more mentally than physically. Don't get me wrong I love a good snu snu session when we get the chance (like when the kids are asleep, or we're not too tired from the long day) but we also enjoy playing games together. Video games, board games it doesn't matter to us, the challenge of beating one another is something that is thrilling as well.

Zaq and I don't argue, we truly don't have anything to argue about. He's as down to earth as am I, we love our kids and we waited a few years to have kids. I waited to have to kids because I wanted to make sure that Zaq and I would be good parents. In my wisdom I also wanted to provide medical insurance for my children. Zaq would get remarried if something were to happen to me. We have three children that are comfortable with someone at home with them.

Anyway my whole point is stop fantasizing about what your marriage should be, and be thankful for those that you have in your life that love you.